OPINION
As the election season continues and families across the nation get into back-to-school mode, media coverage and conversations are set to heat up on all sorts of political topics. As a college professor heading back to the classroom to teach introductory political science, I have a plea for parents: talk to your kids about politics and government both before and after they leave your home. We only get 4-5 presidential election seasons with our kids before they become voting eligible adults, so we should use these opportunities to show them how to engage in politics.
While some families may shy away from such discussions – fearing fights at the dinner table – there is work to be done here. Our children are future voters, policymakers, and leaders; nurturing an understanding of politics and governance is as integral to their upbringing as teaching manners or instilling a work ethic. Family conversations – whether kids participate or simply observe – are their first civic lessons. What’s more, the way our children perceive politicians, and government are deeply influenced by if and how the people around them talk about these topics, so we ought to set good examples by being willing to talk about politics and doing so in a healthy manner.
The notion that not talking about politics “solves” anything is incorrect. A population that is unwilling or unable to talk about politics and government makes political and societal problems harder to solve. Ignorance makes the machinery of politics harder to engage with, because fewer people have a working knowledge of how things happen. And a lack of knowledge leaves us feeling ineffective, a lack of interest leaves us feeling out of control, and a lack of understanding provides a breeding ground for mistrust and even political violence. In having a conversation, you show the children in your family that learning more about the perspectives of others is a good and important thing to do.
When I’ve urged people to talk politics before, they tell me they can’t because the people around them will get too fired up and they don’t want to ruin a family moment. But political discussions to not need to be confrontational. It’s clear that only talking about politics with hatred and outrage does its own sort of damage. While outrage is a profitable fodder for media and entertainment companies, furthering uniformed dread or a blanket hatred of politicians and government does not introduce children to the subject in a helpful way.
To enter a family political discussion in a non-confrontational way, start with an “easy” topic like your upcoming state and local elections. These are easier because the issues tend to be more quality-of-life questions rather than larger culture war or international politics. The candidates likely have differences in priorities on things like schools, roads, and property taxes for you to consider. Then move onto “harder” questions like the presidential election and your upcoming house election (we all have one).
If you are willing to discuss politics with and in front of your children, you show them the value of difficult conversations. When my students talk about different members of their families, sometimes they’ll say there are some people they “just can’t talk to about politics.” Maybe it’s a grandparent or an uncle, but sometimes it’s a mom or a dad. By being open to having these chats with your kids, you’ll make it less likely that you are ever considered one of those “off-limits” people, and you can practice being the person you want to be with your children.
Providing opportunities for children to feel involved in healthy political dialogue helps them develop a constructive relationship with political engagement and to experiment with expressing their own ideas as they move toward adulthood. Calls for an increased focus on political conversation are starting to emerge from all parts of the political spectrum. People are slowly steering away from the long-held idea that you shouldn’t talk politics with children at all; instead, they are focusing on how to talk about politics. Look at the work of American Public Square, Braver Angels, CivicEQ, and the work of many community parenting groups. So many are trying to build civic capacity, let your family be a part of that too.
We do not all have to agree on political end points. But, at the very least, we owe it to ourselves and each other to have basic, practical knowledge of the different features of government. Having a culture that practices learning more in the face of an unknown rather than disregarding elements that seem too complex can only make our collective democratic government enterprise more understanding and more functional. Starting to have these sorts of conversations in the safety of your own home, will both prepare your children to engage in politics in a more robust way later in life and may even allow you to better engage in politics now.
Lindsey Cormack, Associate Professor of Political Science at Stevens Institute of Technology in Hoboken, NJ and author of How to Raise a Citizen (And Why It’s Up to You to Do It)