If I should stay I would only be in your way
So I will go but I know
I will think of you each step of the way
And I will always love you
I Will Always Love You
— Dolly Parton
Some talk of being in politics as if it is the true love of their life, while other rabid politicos act, not as if politics takes the place of a life partner, but rather that of a perpetual intruding third party or a mistress to a marriage. Not a great truth, but a truth nonetheless.
I recently had breakfast with a Congress member and we talked about the challenges of maintaining a balance between family life and a demanding public life. I was asked how the lure of politics allowed me to have some resemblance of family and normalcy, and I admitted to this federal representative that in my early years, it wasn’t always easy. I went on to say that early on, many of us lived and died with each election, each press release, the good and bad news stories regarding the upcoming election, or the office that was currently held. Upon reflection, and with some feigned embarrassment, I can say now that much of that angst was a colossal waste of emotion – a horrible way to live. But as we learned, this love of politics is powerful, one that has its own life force. And it was a life that we chose but few of us fully understood what that Faustian pact really meant.
Years later, and well into the political game, I grew some much-needed perspective and found that life outside of politics was far more worthwhile and fulfilling. But politics waits for no one, and those of us in the game knew the rules, and many took it on without limits or reservations. The first question is WHY, and the question to follow closely behind is, was it worth it?
Let me be clear, I loved, absolutely loved my time in politics.
Seven years as a local official, five years as a staffer in the legislator, a year as a chief of staff to a powerful county executive, one year as a congressional aide and 22 years as a state legislator makes for a pretty sizable block of time and I don’t regret any of it. What I do regret is how I obsessed over the day to day of politics and squandered too much energy on things of little consequence.
Politics is indeed a love affair, but the key is to put limits and boundaries on that relationship.
If you want to make friends, don’t get into politics. If you want to have a normal life, don’t get into politics. If you want to see things happen like job creation, public policy being born and nurtured, lives changed and futures made better, get into politics.
Politics is beauty and politics is ugly, you see the best and worst of humans and you can reach the heavens with good work and the depths of hell with the negative and alluring temptations. The trick is walking the line that you are comfortable with and one that doesn’t overtake your life (and your soul).
The only advice to those contemplating getting into a lifetime of politics, get some perspective and don’t get married to it, just have an arm’s length relationship that doesn’t interfere with the real world that the rest of the earth is living in.