Oliver Tribute: Jeannine Frisby LaRue

I’ve been a New Jersey lobbyist since 1981 and have had the honor of working with scores of magnificent lawmakers throughout the years.   I can truly say that our beloved late Lt. Governor Sheila Oliver was a rarity in the political world. 

Like many other persons in the public arena, I considered Lt. Governor Oliver a close friend.  It’s almost inconceivable that so many folks in the political world could equate the word “friend” with an elected official.  But that’s who Sheila Oliver was: unassuming, gracious, and kind-hearted.  When she allowed you to enter her space and develop a relationship, all the titles went out the window.  She would make you feel that you were the only one in the room.  Sheila Oliver ‘saw you.’  

During the late 90’s and early 2000’s, Lt. Governor Oliver and I lived in the same condo building.  I found myself in the untenable situation of having to raise my 6 and 8-year old grandkids.  In my 50’s and with a really fast-paced executive career, I just couldn’t imagine where to start to find the services these youngsters would need to help piece their lives back together. I bumped into Sheila on the elevator in our building with my grands in tow and she could see I was distraught.  She came into my condo and insisted on assisting me with services and contacts to make this emergency event work for me and my grands.  Those  youngsters who are now very successful young adults are now 28 and 30 years old.  I thank you, Lt. Governor Oliver. 

From that point, I counted this very kind, thoughtful woman as a trusted friend.  Throughout the years, she never acted like Chair of the Freeholder Board, Speaker of Assembly, Commissioner of the Department of Community Affairs, or Lt. Governor of New Jersey.  To me she was just Sheila Oliver…a woman whose identity was not made by politics…but one who made politics better because she showed up. 

So many policy and legislative victories can be cited because Sheila Oliver stepped into public life.  Yes…there are far too many to recount in this brief tribute to her. Yet, there is one that sticks out in my mind and will stay with me for as long as my memory serves me well. 

During the very contentious debate about whether same-sex persons should be legally married, then-Speaker Sheila Oliver was determined to move the Marriage Equality bill through the Assembly.  The vote in her caucus was very close.  In a rare move, Speaker Oliver removed herself from the Speaker’s podium and addressed the Assembly Chamber from the floor.  Her speech was powerful and memorable…and courageous for that moment in history.   

How often do we hear political figures referred to as legends because they were the first in various offices or seemed to suck the oxygen out of the room when they appeared?  That was not our Lt. Governor Sheila Oliver.  She was stately, classy, and so empathetic.  It was her quiet, authentic manner that caused her to stand out.  Today very few people will disagree that Lt. Governor Sheila Oliver was truly a legend.  And…just like that…the legend has left the building.  But, her memories of her will live on.  Our condolences to her Mother, family, inner circle of friends, and all of us left here with holes in our hearts.  Rest in peace and power.